What Is EMDR Therapy? How EMDR Helps Your Brain Process What Happened
If you have heard of EMDR therapy but are not really sure what it is, you are not alone. Even the name sounds a little intimidating.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a type of therapy that helps the brain process experiences that may still be affecting how you feel, react, or see yourself today.
People often hear about EMDR in connection with trauma or PTSD, but you do not have to have one major traumatic event in your life to benefit from EMDR. Sometimes what we are carrying comes from one significant experience. Other times, it comes from years of smaller experiences that have shaped what we believe about ourselves, other people, and the world around us.
One of the ways we explain EMDR at Sparrow Counseling is to think about your brain like a filing cabinet.
Your Brain Is Constantly Filing Away Information
Think about everything your brain takes in during a normal day. Conversations, interactions, emotions, sounds, smells, experiences, and thousands of pieces of information are constantly coming at you.
Your brain has a natural way of processing all of this information. It figures out what is important, makes connections to things you already know, and stores memories so you can access them later.
In very simple terms, it is a little like having a filing cabinet in your brain.
Most experiences eventually find their place in the filing cabinet. You can pull out the file and remember what happened without feeling as though you are right back in the middle of it.
Traumatic or overwhelming experiences can be different.
What Happens When a Memory Does Not Get Filed Away?
Imagine something happens that overwhelms your ability to process it at the time.
Maybe it is something frightening. Maybe you feel powerless. Maybe you are a child and do not yet have the ability to understand what is happening. Maybe there are simply too many things happening at once.
Instead of that experience getting processed and put away with the rest of your memories, imagine the whole file getting thrown on top of the filing cabinet.
It is still there, waiting to be dealt with.
And that file may contain much more than the facts of what happened.
Your brain may have held onto the sights, sounds, and smells. It may have held onto how your body felt. It may have held onto the fear, shame, anger, or helplessness you experienced.
It can also hold onto what you came to believe about yourself in that moment.
“I am not safe.”
“I am not good enough.”
“I don't matter.”
“I can't trust anyone.”
“I am powerless.”
“It was my fault.”
Those beliefs can continue to influence you long after the experience itself is over.
Why Can Something From Years Ago Still Feel So Present?
This is where understanding trauma can get really interesting.
You may know logically that something is over. You may have talked about it. You may understand exactly what happened and why. You may even think, “That was 20 years ago. Why does this still bother me?”
Because knowing something is over and your brain and body experiencing it as over are not always the same thing.
Something happens in your life today that reminds your brain of what is sitting on top of that filing cabinet.
It could be a tone of voice. A smell. Someone being disappointed in you. Conflict with your spouse. Feeling left out. Making a mistake. Someone getting too close. Someone pulling away.
Sometimes you know exactly what triggered you. Other times you have no idea.
Suddenly you feel anxious, angry, panicked, shut down, or overwhelmed. Your reaction may even feel much bigger than the situation in front of you.
Your brain is trying to protect you.
It remembers something that felt dangerous before and sounds the alarm.
The problem is that the alarm may be responding to what happened then, not necessarily to what is happening now.
This is one of the places where EMDR therapy can help.
How Does EMDR Work?
EMDR helps your brain go back to experiences that have not been fully processed and work with them differently.
Before beginning EMDR processing, your therapist will spend time getting to know you and understanding what is bringing you to therapy. Together, you will identify memories or experiences that may be connected to negative thoughts and what you are struggling with today.
When you work with a particular memory, your EMDR therapist may ask you to notice the image that comes to mind, what you believe about yourself when you think about it, the emotions you feel, and what you notice happening in your body.
You will also be asked how disturbing the memory feels to you now.
During EMDR processing, your therapist may ask you to follow their fingers with your eyes as they move from side to side. This is called bilateral stimulation. There are other ways of using bilateral stimulation as well, and your therapist can determine what works best for you.
Then we pay attention to what happens.
A different memory may come up. You may notice a feeling. Your body may respond. You may suddenly see something differently or make a connection you had never made before.
You do not have to analyze every thought or figure out why something came up. In fact, trying too hard to understand every detail can sometimes get in the way.
Your therapist helps guide the process, but your brain is doing much of the work.
What Is EMDR Actually Trying to Change?
EMDR does not erase what happened to you.
That is an important distinction.
The goal is not to make you forget an experience or convince yourself that something painful was okay.
The goal is to help your brain process the memory so it does not continue to have the same power in your present life.
Think again about our filing cabinet.
We are not throwing the file away.
We are helping your brain finally process what is in it and put it where it belongs.
You can still open the drawer and remember what happened, but you do not necessarily have to experience the same fear, shame, or distress every time you remember it.
And some of the beliefs that became attached to the experience may begin to change too.
“I am powerless” may become “I have choices now.”
“I am not safe” may become “I am safe now.”
“It was my fault” may become “I did the best I could.”
“I am not good enough” may become “I am enough.”
What happened did not change.
But the way you carry it can.
Do I Have to Tell My Therapist Everything?
One thing that surprises many people about EMDR is that you do not necessarily have to tell your therapist every detail of what happened.
There needs to be enough communication for your therapist to understand what you are working on and help guide the process, but EMDR does not require you to give a detailed retelling of every traumatic experience.
For people who have avoided trauma therapy because they do not want to tell the whole story again, this can feel like a relief.
Is EMDR Only for PTSD?
EMDR is probably best known as a treatment for trauma and PTSD, but people seek EMDR therapy for many different reasons.
You may be struggling with anxiety, painful childhood experiences, grief, relationship wounds, a frightening event, or a negative belief about yourself that you cannot seem to shake.
Sometimes people come to therapy knowing exactly what experience they need help processing. Other times, they simply know they keep having a reaction that does not seem to match what is happening in their life today.
You do not have to decide whether what happened to you is “traumatic enough” before talking with a therapist.
Sometimes a more useful question is this:
Is something that happened then still affecting how I experience my life now?
EMDR Therapy in Birmingham, Alabama
At Sparrow Counseling, we offer EMDR therapy for adults in Birmingham and the surrounding areas who want help processing experiences that continue to affect their lives today.
We believe therapy should help you understand yourself, but we also know there are times when understanding why you feel something does not necessarily change how it feels.
You may know the file is sitting there. You may even know exactly what is in it.
EMDR gives us another way to help your brain finally process it.
Ready to Learn More About EMDR Therapy?
If something from your past still feels present in your life today, you do not have to keep carrying it in the same way. EMDR therapy may be one way to help your brain process what happened and begin to experience those memories differently.
Ready to get started? Follow these three simple steps:
Reach out to Sparrow Counseling for a free 15-minute consultation.
Learn more about EMDR therapy and whether it may be a good fit for you.
Begin working with an EMDR-trained therapist in Birmingham, AL, to process what happened and move forward with greater freedom.
Other Services Offered at Sparrow Counseling
At Sparrow Counseling, we offer in-person and online therapy in the state of Alabama. In addition to EMDR therapy, our team specializes in teen & pre-teen counseling, family therapy, co-parenting counseling, couples counseling, couples retreats, premarital counseling and pre-engagement counseling, discernment counseling, and more in Birmingham, Alabama. Learn more by checking out our FAQs and Blog!
Sparrow Counseling is a Birmingham-area counseling practice offering therapy for individuals, couples, teens, and families. Our experienced clinicians provide compassionate, evidence-based care to help clients strengthen relationships, navigate difficult seasons, and move toward lasting healing and growth. Our team includes clinicians trained in EMDR therapy, an evidence-based approach that can help clients process painful experiences, trauma, anxiety, and negative beliefs that continue to affect how they feel and respond in the present.
