Everything is different now…your loss has changed your whole perspective. You long to go back to “normal". To the way things were. As you start to accept that things aren't going back, you become overwhelmed with so many feelings. Sadness, anger, confusion, fear, and anxiety. You think you should feel better by now…but you aren’t the same. You are tired of feeling alone and like no one understands the depth of your loss.
Losing someone to death or a breakup like a divorce hurts. It is like you lost a piece of yourself when you lost them. At times you seem to be OK, then out of nowhere, you are triggered by something. A song in the grocery store or the smell of fresh bread brings an overwhelming sense of grief.
You Can Feel So Much With Grief
You feel so many things, maybe even relief at times that you or your loved one are no longer in pain. You didn’t think it would hurt this bad or take this long to recover. What is wrong with me, you keep asking yourself? Maybe there are parts of you that are numb. You have no tears or you can’t access them anymore. Your heart is shut down to the world to any more hurt as well as any more joy.
When everything first happened, you were overwhelmed with well-wishers and concerned friends bringing you food or checking on you. But now things have changed and there is more silence and you are alone more with your thoughts. You feel like you are wearing out your friends by talking about the same memories and feelings you have over and over again.
Grief Counseling Can Help You!
Love and grief come from the same tapestry of life. You may find that you are having a hard time moving forward in your life without this person. And now you find yourself thinking- why did I love them so much if it hurts this much? It’s too risky to love people. You want to close yourself off from your people because losing them feels too risky.
Having an outside perspective of a trained grief counselor can help shift these overwhelming thoughts. First, our grief counselors know how to be patient. Grief takes time. And patience is required for any healing listeners to sit with you through all your feelings.
We Can’t Escape Grief
Here’s the thing about grief- we can’t escape it. Everyone will have to deal with grief or loss at some point in their life. If you are a parent, you are modeling for your children how to grieve and experience loss. We can model healthy ways or unhealthy ways. Most likely, we will all do a little bit of both. Our hope at Sparrow Counseling, though, is that grief will not take over your entire life forever and you’ll process your grief. We all know people who were never able to move past their losses.
They build walls around them so they won’t get hurt again. They don't allow themselves to experience joy because they feel guilty for doing so. I wonder, would the person you lost or your children want you to never love again? To shut yourself off from feeling peace and joy again? More importantly, will you love yourself enough to say you are worth learning new ways to grieve so you can find your life again?
A Grief Counselor Can Walk You Through Your Grief
A trained grief counselor can help walk you through this painful time in life. We are trained to be patient, to educate you about what is “normal” and to walk with you as you begin having enjoyable feelings again. Maybe you need to help find creative ways to honor your loved one and find a meaningful connection with them even though they are not with you. At Sparrow Counseling, we are here for whatever it is you think you need, even if at this point you are not sure what that even is! That’s ok! We want to walk with you.
We live in a culture where we don't have strong cultural norms to grieve. We don't talk about it. And productivity and perfectionism is the standard for most people’s coping skills. We know at Sparrow Counseling, productivity, and perfectionism don't work when you lose someone you love. You deserve to slow down and be heard as you walk through this journey. Often this journey can provide you with new insights into yourself and your relationships.
Symptoms of Grief
Grief is tricky! There is a wide range of “normal” symptoms. Like sadness, anxiety, confusion, relief, hopelessness, anger, and disbelief. There are often countless ways you may experience grief, so putting labels or time-frames on one's grief is never warranted or fair. Here are some common symptoms you may experience and speak to a grief counselor may help you:
Intense sorrow or pain
Rumination of the loss of a loved one
Feeling numb or detached from anything you once enjoyed
Preoccupied with thoughts of death and not being able to function in your daily routines
Bad gut problems like diarrhea or constipation
Fatigue but not being able to sleep
Feeling irritable or bitter at everything and everyone
Sparrow Counseling’s Approach to Grief Can Help!
No one can take away the pain or the circumstances that led to your grief. But we can help you walk through the dark tunnel of grief to find the light again. It is often walking through this darkness that people avoid. When doing this we have found that grief will eventually surface in unhealthy ways of coping.
That’s why we know that even though walking through the tunnel of grief can be scary, it can give you new hope and strength in yourself that you had no idea existed! We can help you explore new meanings in your relationships. We can give you new insights and fresh perspectives about yourself as you take this difficult journey. Reaching the light at the end of the tunnel of grief will give you a new sense of hope and joy!
Counseling can’t bring the person you lost back but with counseling, you can expect:
A patient guide to help you and walk with you
Validating your feelings and reminding you that you are not alone or going crazy
Finding new coping skills
Redefining what hope is for your future
Exploring your priorities and finding your direction in the future
Reevaluating your relationships and values
Begin Grief Counseling in Birmingham, AL
Nothing can take away your pain over the loss of the person you loved. Nothing can bring them back but that does not mean you have to walk this journey alone. It is impossible to just “get over it” when you lose someone you deeply love. You need to learn how to walk a new path and grief counseling can be your guide.
At Sparrow Counseling we offer grief counseling at our Birmingham, AL office or online if you live anywhere in the state of AL. If you would like to begin healing in your grief journey, please follow the steps below to get matched with one of our caring therapists:
1- Reach out to Sparrow Counseling- Fill out the contact page on our website
2- Once you complete the form our Client Care Coordinator will reach out to you for a 15-minute call. She will ask you a few questions about who you are and the kind of support you need. She will take the time to match you with the therapist that will be the best fit for you.
3- Start your grief journey with a caring guide!
Here are some of our blogs discussing Grief and Loss
How to Find a Grief Counselor in Birmingham, AL
A discussion with counselors about COVID-19, faith and grief.
7 Ways To Help Your Children Grieve Your Divorce
I’m Over It: How Unprocessed Grief Can Harm Your Relationships
Other Mental Health Services Sparrow Counseling Offers
At Sparrow Counseling we understand you may be dealing with more than just your grief. Our practice offers in-person and online therapy in the state of Alabama. We specialize in co-parenting counseling, reunification therapy, blended family counseling, divorce & family mediation, discernment counseling, individual counseling, teen counseling, and anxiety therapy in Birmingham, Alabama. Let us aid you in your healing journey. Learn more by checking out our FAQs and Blog!